this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
