He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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