I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
