screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
