what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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