Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
