i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
