Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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