FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
