I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
worst night to have a conscience
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
