That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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