I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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