Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
