wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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