it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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