The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
