# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
