new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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