can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
