i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
