the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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