the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
