Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
