I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
