Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
