I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
thus making me awesome and them whores
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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