I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You are a genius and a whore.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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