But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
