uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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