they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
