He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
