Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
