Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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