Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
