My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
