Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
