I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
