Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wish I could teleport
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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