the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
