she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
