I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
