is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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