Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
