His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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