Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The struggles of a small town man whore
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
