just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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