"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
