Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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