Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
