You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
